Self-Love & Success (February 2019)



/ˈˌself ˈləv/


regard for one's own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).

February: the month of love.

Sure, it may be based off of a Hallmark holiday, but most of us take up the opportunity to spoil the ones that mean most to us.

But in the midst of spoiling our loved ones, do you take the time to give yourself any TLC?

Very often, the answer is no.

That is why we've created #SFFLoveYourself.

It's a chance to take one month to focus on yourself and the things that mean most to you.

Self-love follows self-compassion. Both tough to achieve, but harder to get one without the other.

Why is self-compassion so important?

According to multiple studies, self-compassion and self-kindness have a greater effect on one's motivation and success than self-esteem. Sure, it feels good to feel good about ourselves, but what about being patient with yourself? Forgiving yourself when you make an honest mistake? Giving yourself a second chance when you make that mistake? Because you will...we all do.

Self-compassion offers tremendous benefits that can help you become more successful. Research continues to uncover incredible social, psychological, and physical health benefits associated with self-kindness.

"Using a correlational design, one study found that self-compassion had a significant positive association with self-reported measures of happiness, optimism, positive affect, wisdom, personal initiative, curiosity and exploration, agreeableness, extroversion, and conscientiousness. "

With so many benefits to practicing self-compassion, it's only obvious to think that these would bleed into multiple areas of our lives. Not only our relationship with ourselves & others, but our confidence at work or in sport, our motivation in a healthy lifestyle, our eagerness to learn and accomplish new tasks.

Self-compassion is a tough tackle; it requires accepting yourself for who you are to allow yourself to become better.

While high self-esteem often depends on external circumstances, self-compassion comes from within. It's having the courage to say "I know this may be a personal flaw but I am working on it and until I get from point A to point B, I am comfortable accepting myself for who I am."

When you have the self-compassion to be comfortable with who you are, self-love is inevitable.

How does this play into success?

One study showed that "participants in a self-compassion condition compared to a self-esteem control condition expressed greater incremental beliefs about a personal weakness."

Results of the four experiments are as follows:

"(Experiment 1) Reported greater motivation to make amends and avoid repeating a recent moral transgression;

(Experiment 2) Spent more time studying for a difficult test following an initial failure;

(Experiment 3) Exhibited a preference for upward social comparison after reflecting on a personal weakness;

(Experiment 4) Reported greater motivation to change the weakness.

These findings suggest that taking an accepting approach to personal failure may make people more motivated to improve themselves."

Self-love is an achievement; one that is not easy for most people to obtain, but one that everyone deserves.

Set a goal this month. What is ONE step you are going to take to work on self-compassion?

Just one, start small.

Where can you give yourself a chance to improve? In what context could you bring yourself closer to self-love and success in any area of life you want to focus on?